I’m still alive!

Well, I survived having my gallbladder removed.  This is my first post since the day before surgery and let me tell you… a blog post has been the last thing on my mind.  It would have been hard to convince me that they hadn’t cut me from breast to pelvis after surgery had I not seen the tiny bandages left behind.  I have three small wounds on the right side of my belly and my belly button looks like it’s been cored like an apple.  It’s stuffed with gauze and covered in what looks like shrink wrap.  I had no idea they pulled the gallbladder out through your belly button!  Now my belly button is bruised and feels like hot lava is pouring out of it. Yay me!

I’d like to take this opportunity address all surgeons and inform you that taking Lortabs for post-op pain is like taking aspirin for an amputation.  Sadistic bastards!  I tend not to like to take pills at all, and I have a high tolerance for pain.  But for whatever reason my ribs felt like I went 3 rounds of dirty boxing with Randy Coutour.  My back also is killing me.  The Lortabs make me high as a kite, but aren’t doing much for the pain.

Just for shits and giggles – here’s a diagram of the incisions. I feel like a sieve. 


My mother, bless her heart, took a few days off of work to babysit me and while I thought this was a bit silly at first – I was glad to have my mommy there.  She bought me jello and pudding (which I later discovered I shouldn’t have been eating,) and soup.  It was nice to feel like a 9 year old with the flu again.  She’s a good nurse.

But she’s also my mother and she made me call the doctor today because she was worried that I hadn’t…pooped yet.  Oh lord, yes, she made me call the nurse after discussing my bowel movements… or lack there of, with one of her sisters.  Who knew my bowel movements would be the source of not just a discussion, but a full on debate.  As they say, shit happens.  It just doesn’t seem to be happening for me.

Another nifty side effect – I’ve looked like I’m abut 4-5 months pregnant.  The swelling (and the gas they inflate you like a balloon with) has kept me in pajamas and sweat pants… a look I haven’t donned since my last pregnancy… and then, I was happy to show off my bump.

I was hoping to start a new WIP while I was off work.  However, to manage the pain I’ve been so hopped up that I don’t even remember talking to people.  Scary thought (and probably why my post-op instructions say not to make any decisions while in recovery.)

So, I am still here.  I’m alive, doped up, swollen and thoroughly excited mortified to discuss my bowel movements with mom and anyone else.


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